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Posted by TeeHeeLawrence on 05-07-2010 at15:49:

  Andrea and Co. Just A-door-able...

ANDREA'S BRIEFCASE PROBLEM is my kind of tickle tale.

Oh, hapless females in tickle dungeons have their place, but i much prefer playful tickling in a slapstick comedy setting. I'm much more likely to laugh with the characters that way.

I appreciated both the slow build-up and the attention to character detail, for they enhanced the impact of tickling when it finally came.
The web of white lies and hardly restrained self-interest ensnared the women as surely as "the boys" and their cunning door.

The Turkish cuties make a wonderful comedy team: Hatice seemingly more grounded and a bit too sure of herself, while Aynur simply can't resist indulging in mischief. Andrea's smart and self-possessed, which made both her manipulation by Aynur and her delight as merciless tickler all the richer.

"The boys" are written and drawn like overgrown Katzenjammer Kids, and, while simply creepy at first, become almost endearing when they catch the preoccupied Andrea at the end.

Visually, the tale was well-paced, with more expansive shots during the build-up giving way to lovely close-ups during the climactic action. The door lent itself to some clever reverse shots. Both body language and facial expressions were well wrought. You can't do good slapstick without 'em.

Whither Andrea? I hope her next adventure is in a professional setting, where she assumes she's in command. Perhaps she'll be put in a position where she has to maintain her composure while a rival mercilessly exploits her hopeless, shoeless, nylon-enhanced weakness.

It might be fun seeing Hatice and Aynur clash with another of your more mature, overconfident protagonists. Perhaps they could be shoe clerks run ragged by Martina and she simply pushes them a tad too far...

As for "the boys," perhaps their next role should be as homeowners justified in disciplining the all-too-acquisitive-and-inquisitve Portia, who picks the wrong house to burgle. Later, when Portia's public defender, Nadja, tries to visit them to arrange a settlement, they "negotiate" very generous concessions from her right at their still quite perplexing door.

Thanks for the eye and mind candy.

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Posted by fantomaZ on 05-07-2010 at19:01:



hi and welcome to the board,

thank you very much for this review. feedback - positive and negative - always helps in my decisions what kind of story to do next.

greetz fantomaZ

ps: I have sent you some bonus items per pm. enjoy ...

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Posted by TeeHeeLawrence on 05-07-2010 at23:15:

  A problematic brief case for expansion...

Why, thank you! It seems only just to encourage good work presented with such pride and thought.

More musings inspired by Andrea and Co:

Should you ever decide to expand the fantomaz empire into other media, "Andrea's Briefcase Problem," as well as its co-feature, would make excellent candidates for adaptation.

Adding a soundtrack to this e-comic, with the dialogue voiced by two or more players (altho one clever female voice artist could play ALL the parts, including "the boys"), appropriate sound effects (Andrea's pump twacking against the marble, door panels sliding open, that sandbag whumping when it pins Hatice), and a continous light music score (not unlike the tunes by LeRoy Shields heard on the 1930's Laurel and Hardy comedies) would make reading the comic an even more ticklish experience.

And, while I'm annoyingly minding YOUR business and spending your investment capital, this comic is a ready-made storyboard for a short (say, 20 minutes) tickle video. This might be a tad expensive, what with casting 5 speaking parts and the women, at least, having to be
actors with some experience.
But, if you lavish the care onto it that you display in your comics, i suspect it would be a sensation in the ever-growing ticklephile market.

Just think: if it should come to the attention of a popular mainstream performer like, say, 30ish Scottish Kelly MacDonald, and she options it with the intention of expanding it into a feature while starring as Andrea...

Did I mention that I was a hopeless daydreamer?

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Posted by Mandrake on 05-08-2010 at00:59:

  RE: Andrea and Co. Just A-door-able...

Don't apologize for daydreaming. If I wasn't a daydreamer I wouldn't have written the stories I've written.