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Posted by potk on 02-16-2012 at21:14:

Short Story: Maid-in-Training

Maid-in-Training

quote:

Starring: Brandy, Jane Location: Mansion Stairwell Scenario: Jane isn’t too pleased with Brandy’s performance as of late, and decides to test her... Tags: One Shoe Off, Shoe Theft, One Shoe Hop, Both Shoes Lost

Third short story done. I'm rather suprised with this one; I was intending to take another break, but got bored so I decided to type up the beginning of this story, and I ended up typing the whole thing in less then a day! Given how this one ended, I'll leave the option for a second part as I originally intended this to be longer since I got this part done so quickly.

Enjoy! Next up: The Snake-Charming Cinderella!

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Posted by omega on 02-16-2012 at21:46:

 

Ha, this was great! Wish I could hire an attractive maid and confiscate her shoe. I can't to see how the guests reacts to Brandy's single-shoe attire and see her get her revenge against. I like all the Cinderella refences ( for example Brandy was the name of one of the actresses who played Cinderella) and I like even more that she doesn't get you know what back.

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Posted by potk on 02-16-2012 at21:53:

 

Glad to know you liked it.

I totally forgot about the Brandy Cinderella movie. As I noted earlier, there was going to be more, but I left it opn ended if I ever plan on getting back to it, which, becuase it took a lot less then I thought, is highly likely.

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Posted by omega on 02-16-2012 at22:35:

 

Can't wait for The Snake-Charming Cinderella!

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Posted by potk on 02-16-2012 at22:38:

 

Thanks. The Snake-Charming Cinderella was actually the first one I started writing, so it shouldn't take that long for me to type it since I remember practically all of it.

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Posted by Mandrake on 02-16-2012 at23:06:

 

Great story! Brandy was skillfully de-shoed.

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Posted by potk on 02-16-2012 at23:10:

 

Hahaha thanks.

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Posted by fantomaZ on 02-18-2012 at05:56:

 

your contributions are coming at such speed, that I simply missed that one before. great scene again

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Posted by potk on 02-18-2012 at17:10:

 

Glad to know you liked it.

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Posted by potk on 03-02-2012 at21:26:

 

...so, it's been about of month since my last short story, and I just wanted to let you guys know that it's mostly due to me just being lazy. Not that I haven't thought up numerous new ideas, which I acutally have; it's mostly due to the amount of revisions I've been doing to my next story, The Snake-Charming Cinderella. Although I haven't written the vast changes down now, it'll probably end up rather different from my original draft.

This would also be a good give me any critiques on my stories and how I can improve on any of them.

As of now my short stories have been downloaded over 60 times altogether since the first one is uploaded, which I never ithey actually would (I forget that a good anonymous people lurk around here).

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Posted by Mandrake on 03-02-2012 at21:35:

 

So far I've loved the way you've been writing your stories, especially when you go into great detail and build on the suspense. Keep up the good work.

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Posted by potk on 03-02-2012 at21:37:

 

Thanks! Is there anything you'd like to see in particular?

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Posted by Mandrake on 03-03-2012 at00:03:

 

The focus on the shoe removal is my favorite part. One of my favorite situations, that I don't see too often (but have in one of your stories and a couple of fantomaz's) is where the girl is wearing sheer nylons but keeps it hidden under her long pants and sneakers, shoes or boots (sneakers are my favorite). Then she loses her shoe(s) and is embarrassed to have her stocking feet exposed, or maybe she's terrified of being tickled on her sensitive stocking feet. Scenarios like that always great.

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Posted by potk on 03-03-2012 at00:30:

 

Yeah, the shoe removal is by far my favourite part, and the most important alongside coming up with a plausible scenario for it to actually happen. I personally prefer the girls to wear pants alongside stocking rather then dresses/skirts unless it's part of a uniform. In fact, I think the remainder of the stories I have all the important characters wear them.

One interesting thnig that I had never thought of until I read the public version of my comissioned e-comic is the sock-over-stocking combination. This is something I plan on utilizing later.

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Posted by Mandrake on 03-03-2012 at09:15:

 

quote:

Originally posted by potk Yeah, the shoe removal is by far my favourite part, and the most important alongside coming up with a plausible scenario for it to actually happen. I personally prefer the girls to wear pants alongside stocking rather then dresses/skirts unless it's part of a uniform. In fact, I think the remainder of the stories I have all the important characters wear them. One interesting thnig that I had never thought of until I read the public version of my comissioned e-comic is the sock-over-stocking combination. This is something I plan on utilizing later.

Yeah, I'm not much of a fan of the sock over stocking combination. I like it better when it's just the thin nylons in loose shoes. But I know there are a few people here who like the sock over nylon combo, so go for it.

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Posted by potk on 03-05-2012 at00:02:

 

Things have gotte a lot better after the past couple of days and have actually managed to get some writing done. Made some changes here and there, and everything seems to be going well.

I've looked through fantomaZ's catalouge again and decided to change up the cast a bit. First off, I'll have Camielle replace Hatice in The Snake-Charming Cinderella. I've pretty much decided that unless it's a follow-up to a previous story that I left an open-ending to, I don't want to use the same character twice, because each character is different and can result in different, more interesting outcomes. I'm also experimenting on larger casts.